Ah, romance. We're all suckers for it. Hand holding and candlelit dinners and roses.... but how are we supposed to manage now that we're all tucked away in our homes and unable to make physical contact with others?
I'm delighted to see you've all come back to my Tea Time! We're going to talk about how to manage relationships during the pandemic. It's really tough to navigate these times, but our love lives shouldn't have to suffer! I'm no relationship expert, but I'm going to do my best here. One of my beautiful tea party guests and a true Camryn's Tea Time fan requested this topic. I'm not one to disappoint!
Crushes
Chances are, with the pandemic, you're probably sticking to text messages and dating apps. Go you! You're being safe and sliding into DMs! I have some tips for you on how to handle new crushes during the pandemic. Once again, I'm not an expert! I'm just your favorite friend trying to help you out. If this advice doesn't work for you, that's okay! And by all means comment below any tips you might have that I excluded.
1. Know what you're looking for
Are you looking for a hookup? A long term hookup? A short term relationship? A long term relationship? Just trying to see where things go? Understand what you want from this other person so you can convey your needs properly. It would be really unfortunate if you were looking for a long term relationship but the person you're talking to only wants to hook up once the pandemic is over. Having a clear relationship goal in mind also helps you put the right vibe out there.
2. Chose your dating platform wisely
Maybe I'm wrong because I don't use dating apps, but Tinder seems like a place that more people hook up and Bumble/Hinge seems like a place where more people are looking for a relationship. I could be totally wrong, but that's the trend I've noticed. That being said, if you know what type of relationship you're looking for, you can pick the platform that works best for you and proceed from there.
3. Go in with realistic expectations
It's not uncommon to get ghosted on a normal day, but it's even more common right now. We'll talk more about ghosting in the next point. But go in with the mindset that if you do have the unfortunate experience of being ghosted, that it's not personal.
Be open to the fact that since you're forming a virtual relationship, it might not feel the same when the pandemic is over. The keyword is might! Because you never know where you'll meet the love of your life.
You'll probably have to talk to multiple people before you find someone you're compatible with, and that's okay. You might waste your time on a few facetime dates, but if you're really determined to find a boo during the pandemic, keep trying.
You might even lose interest in a person! That's okay, too. Don't be harsh on yourself because you're no longer vibing with someone. Just end that connection with kindness.
Understand that you may be lonely. Being trapped in our houses with significantly less social interaction takes a toll on everyone's health. Don't lower your standards just because you want someone to cuddle with after the pandemic is over! You're worthy of someone who can love you to the fullest extent and treat you well.
4. You might get ghosted
As much as you might hate it, don't be surprised if you get ghosted. It's not personal! I'm sure you've ghosted someone before. Don't lie. You know you have. Think about why you ghosted them. Maybe it was because you weren't vibing with them or you they weren't your type. Either way, the reason you ghosted them was about you. Unless they said something offensive to you, then it's their fault they were ghosted.
Also, be aware that you don't know what they're going through. They could have a mental health disorder. Their family could be suffering from the virus. You just don't know and chances are, they're not going to tell you. They could have a sudden family emergency and the last thing on their mind is responding to DMs.
Whatever their reason is, whether you know why you were ghosted or not, you can tell yourself "Thank you for giving me the opportunity to find someone who can treat me better" and move on to talking to the next cute person.
5. Go with the flow
Listen, we're in uncertain times. No day looks the same. Some days you might be having a strong conversation with your crush and other days you receive a bunch of one-word answers. You might find someone to obsess over and you might find a bunch of people you'd rather never speak to again. You might match with someone from your high school that you never would have considered talking to. Be open to new experiences and allow your relationships to form naturally!
Relationships
This section is for those of us who are in new relationships all the way to long term relationships. Quarantine is tough on relationships! You should be proud of yourself for acknowledging this hardship and admiring your desire to improve your love life.
1.Undivided attention
Setting aside time for one another that's uninterrupted is huge! Uninterrupted time makes us feel important and prioritized. Schedule a facetime date during a quiet time that works for both of you.
2. Establish what you're looking for when you're talking to one another
Some days, all we want to do is talk each other's ears off. On other days, what we need is to coexist. Other times, we have a million errands to run but want to talk to our SO (significant other). When both of you start chatting or even better, texting each other earlier in the day to schedule your video call, let each other know what's going on. That way, you can both prepare the appropriate activities and no one's needs will feel ignored.
This is also key if you have something important to discuss. Let your SO know that you want to share something that's more serious so your partner can get in the right frame of mind. Are you looking for advice? Comfort? Fix some things in the relationship? Whatever it is, communication prior to the conversation will make all the difference.
3. Get to know your love language!
You don't have to do this one, but if you love personality quizzes like I do, this will be right up your ally! Plus, getting a better understanding of you and your SO can strengthen your relationship. The Five Love Languages are
-Physical Touch
-Acts of Service
-Words of Affirmation
-Undivided Attention
-Receiving Gifts
I know I mentioned undivided attention as the first point to keeping the relationship strong during the pandemic. In my opinion, right now showing your SO that you're completely and totally there for them is crucial, especially when you can't spend time with them alone in person.
If your love language is physical touch, sis I hear you! Right now, we need to hang in there. We'll get to hug our wonderful SO's soon enough. But tapping into the other languages can help us still feel connected to our loves.
Get to know your love language with the official quiz, which I'm linking right here! You can get really creative during the pandemic regarding the languages. Anywhere from sending long loving text messages, sending real handwritten love letters in the mail, Venmoing for your SO's food, to sending a little care package. If you're stuck, Pinterest has loads of ideas for long-distance relationship ideas.
4. Honor each other's space
I know that since we're all home, it may seem like everyone is doing nothing. I understand your need to receive attention from your SO, but it's not fair to expect them to call/text/facetime every second of the day. They have a life too! They're spending time with family, catching up on shows, working out, doing homework, or just want time to relax. Remember, everyone is handling the pandemic differently. Maybe they're having a tough time with it. Give them their space and schedule time fo time another. Trust me, your SO doesn't want to ignore you, but they want time for themselves too. If you feel you need a little more space than usual, let your SO know! Respecting each others boundaries will keep the relationship strong.
It's also important to acknowledge each other's emotions. Everyone's situation is different. As well as we know our SOs, we don't know everything. Allowing them to come to you on their own terms with what their feeling is huge. Just like you wouldn't want to be forced to talk about your emotions, don't force them. Honor each other's space, needs, and emotions.
5. Plan an activity
Maybe you're used to having an infinite amount of things to talk about with your SO, but once the lockdown began, it seems like there's nothing to talk about. It's normal! We're all at home, seeing the same scenery, and experiencing the same routines. There isn't much stimulating us, making some conversations run a little dry. Don't worry, you're not boring and neither is your SO. It's just the circumstances. But planning an activity to do over a video call can really help with those lull periods. Activities could include
Netflix Party
Homework Date
Playing games (GamePigeon on iPhones have loads of cute games to play. Or why not Trivia Crack again?!)
Working out together
Simply agreeing to coexist for the allotted time
Taking fun quizzes together and sharing results
Planning all of the things you'll do when you're reunited and allowed to be out and about again
Making the same food and eating together
Planning a fancy virtual date
6. Celebrate the little things together
Did one of you work out for the first time in weeks? Yay! Did one of you finish all your homework? Yay! Ate a full meal? Yay! Got a full night's sleep? Yay! Share the positives of your life with one another. With all the darkness going around, shining light on one another lifts a weight off of our chests. Plus, it gives you something positive to talk about.
After reading all these tips, I hope your head is buzzing with optimism about your relationships! Romance is still alive! I've had a lot of success with these tips, but these are things that work for me. What I do might not be your jam! If you have any tips that have helped your relationship, comment them below.
As always, I love having tea with all of you. And to my beautiful tea party guest that requested this topic, I hope this helped you! Thank you so so much for inspiring this post. To all of my tea party readers, if this post helped you, please like, comment, and subscribe down below at the little email bar. And if you're feeling ambitious, spread the love and share this post with others!
xo,
Camryn