Welcome to 2021!!
I can't believe I'm saying this, but this is our 20th cup of tea together and I've had this blog for a little over a year! Thank you to all of my readers, new and old, for supporting me with my writing. So many of you reach out to me after every post about how much you love my blog. It fills my heart up with joy. I'm passionate about sharing my experiences with the hope to guide you, educate you, comfort you, and give you something fun to read. Cheers to twenty posts!
As we sip our cup of tea today, I'll be reflecting on what's been going on this year since I've started this blog up until now, A WHOLE YEAR LATER. I once heard that it's important to reflect on all the progress you've made or else your mind will be stuck in the same place it was when you first started. So, if you read nothing else from this blog post today, I hope you walk away with that journaling prompt in your back pocket. Write about your accomplishments. Cement them on paper. Look how far you've come on your goals. Once you see what you've done, you'll journey even further in your life.
Now that we're in the time of New Years Resolutions, we're bound to see people flexing about what they've done in the pandemic. We should celebrate all of our accomplishments! But, don't let someone else's highlight reel make you feel any less about yourself. Navigating a global pandemic while learning how to cope with new stressors, home life, work, or lack-there-of, is a lot. If all you did this year was take everything day by day, that's something to be proud of! You're still on this earth for a reason and that's enough. Other people may minimize you or judge you based on their own perceptions of what productivity should be, but you keep doing what's best for you.
I believe joy is contagious, so I've decided to share some of the things I'm most proud of for accomplishing this year.
Four of my 2020 Highlights:
I went on my Disney College Program ~ None of your bosses compare to my former boss, Mickey Mouse. Don't try to convince me otherwise. What other boss allows you to go eat churros while Happily Ever After is lighting up the sky after leaving a magical shift where you make dreams come true? When I first unlocked the door to my Chatham Square apartment on that brisk January morning (yes, Florida gets cold. Stop rolling your eyes), I had no idea that my experience was going to be more incredible than I could have ever imagined. My time as a spa hostess, the beautiful friendships I made with my roomies and spa queens, exploring all of Disney, and countless other memories can't be compared to anything else, even if my dream of 5 years was shattered after two months.
I watched all the Marvel movies ~ I live under a rock when it comes to watching shows and movies. Ask me if I've seen your favorite show. Go on. My answer is most likely no. Why don't I watch tons of movies and shows? Because the thought of sitting still for hours without doing anything "productive" sends me down a spiral of shame, guilt, and harsh self-criticism. Yes, I know, it sounds crazy that a yoga teacher has trouble relaxing, but, to give myself some credit, I've given myself permission over these last few years to cozy up in a blanket and gaze into a screen in a completely guilt-free way. Being in the thick of quarantine gave me something I never thought I'd see...an abundance of time to relax and restore. So, with this crazy amount of time, I decided I was ready to watch all the Marvel movies! Every minute of those 52 hours was worth it. I allowed myself to immerse in a story and actually relax. If you're reading this and thinking "How have you not seen all the Marvel movies until now?", remember, I live under a rock.
I went for my 200-hour yoga certification ~ Everyone knows I'm a yogi, but the certification I was using to teach was so basic and limiting. I knew if I wanted to be a respectable yoga teacher when I left the Rec Center one day, I'd need that 200-hour certificate. The only problem was it was crazy expensive and time-consuming, so I was holding back. Being the manifestation queen that I am, I found a covid-friendly virtual yoga teacher training given from a highly rated nearby studio and it was at a price that was much friendlier for my budget!
After 6 months of flowing, workbook exercises, and readings, I printed out my certificate on some cardstock I found in the basement and took the first step towards my dream of owning a yoga business. Let me tell you, creating my website from scratch and starting my own brand gave me the sweats. Hello, imposter syndrome. Even so, my heart is glowing because I get to share my yoga love with all of you as I expand my yoga journey. If you haven't explored my website or followed me on Instagram, please do so now! Support small businesses. ❤
I joined Her Campus Montclair ~ Okay, yes, my last post on here hasn't been since July...BUT! I've been writing elsewhere. If you haven't checked out my Her Campus profile, girl, you're missing out! All my inspirational nuggets have just been getting posted to another place. There are 7, soon to be 8, glorious pieces of writing just sitting on the Internet, waiting for your gorgeous soul to click on my link and read them. So what are you waiting for? Let me know which Her Campus post of mine is your favorite!
Thank you for listening to my accomplishments! It feels good to share the light in my life because I've been completely burnt out. I fit all the classic symptoms. Fatigued. Cynical. Unmotivated. Exhausted but not sleeping. Dreading waking up in the morning. Intense anxiety spirals over simple tasks. I could keep listing my symptoms and tell you all about the dark side of my mental health journey, but this blog is Camryn's Tea Time, not WebMD.
It's been hard writing, being creative, or doing much of anything. I get to my keyboard, stare at the screen, and nothing. Do you know how many times I've rewritten this 20th blog post, hated it, ignored it for several weeks only to find myself going through that loop again? I'm not proud, but I've been stressing over this post since early November.
Creating content for my yoga IG has been tough, too. I'm not a professional content creator, as you can probably tell by the lighting in my room and off-centered reels, and the thought of trying to grow my online presence is overwhelming. It's tough because I'm managing all of it by myself and always manage to hold myself to unrealistically high expectations instead of just enjoying the process.
I also want everything I post on my Snap story, blog, and yoga site to be uplifting and overflowing with love, but because I've been so depleted, I have hardly anything to share. How can I pour into other people's cups when I can't even seem to fill my own? If you've been wondering why I've been a little quiet lately, that's the reason. I have so little energy and I'm still working through the heartbreak this year has brought me. It's been really lonely over here.
Even though my best doesn't always look that great, I know I'm trying to show up for myself and others. Some days I'm shining bright and wearing my favorite lipgloss under my sparkly mask, other days I have dark circles under my puffy eyes and show up to work late. I try to remember that I can be both joyful and sad. Emotions are complex, so don't let anyone define you by certain thoughts you've expressed or certain phases in your life. You can be bright and bold while also being small and timid. No matter what your best looks like today, I always reflect back to one of my favorite mantras I use in my yoga classes: "Wherever you are today is exactly where you're meant to be".
I'm happy to have finally posted here again and I hope you've enjoyed reading this!
Happy New Year and cheers to 2021.
Love,
Camryn