I want to dive into a topic that’s been weighing on my heart: the harmful impact of phrases like “you’re too young to be feeling that way” or “you’re too young to be experiencing that.” These words are more than just dismissive—they’re completely invalidating.
It’s Not About Age, It’s About Empathy
When I come to someone with a problem I’m having in the moment, it shouldn’t matter what my age is. Often, when I hear those phrases, I feel dismissed or receive half-hearted help. It’s as if my feelings are less important because of my age, and that’s just not right. Why should I have to "earn" my struggling?
The Harmful Message Behind “You’re Too Young”
These phrases center the person saying them, almost as if they’re entitled to their feelings or experiences because of their age. It makes me feel like I need to set my experience aside, which is incredibly invalidating.
Personally, being told I’m “too young” for whatever my issue is makes me feel really pessimistic. I'm too young to have debilitating stomach issues, too young to be jaded, too young to be depressed, to young to be this tired... It implies that I should expect to feel these awful things when I’m older, which only makes me more miserable in the present. Like are you trying to tell me that my future is more depressing? Please.
Validation and Solutions Over Dismissal
Hearing “you’re too young” is not even slightly helpful. How about providing validation and solutions instead? I’ve experienced multiple periods in my life where I underwent dangerously unhealthy amounts of stress for extended periods. These phases drastically affected my physical and mental health, yet instead of receiving help, I was told I was too young to feel this way or have these symptoms. Essentially, I was told to deal with it and maybe do a little self-care. And why? Just because I’m young? Talk about being misunderstood.
The Isolation of Invalidation
It’s so isolating to be told not to feel a certain way but that I have permission to feel it when I’m older. This is why older generations can be so miserable! The issues start young, and instead of processing and healing, they get stored away, beginning a toxic cycle. If someone is begging for help, it shouldn’t be dismissed because of their age. Being miserable at an older age shouldn’t be flaunted like a badge of honor or rite of passage.
Let’s Break the Cycle Together
My dear friend, we need to break this cycle. We must validate each other’s experiences and offer support, no matter the age. We deserve to feel heard, understood, and helped—right now, not just when we’re older. Let’s create a space where all feelings are valid, and healing can happen at any stage of life.
Thank you for joining me in this conversation. Your feelings are valid, no matter your age.
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