Well hello there, my cozy little corner of the Internet!
I’ve had an interesting experience with platonic relationships throughout my life, and I’ve been reflecting on what I’ve learned. Honestly, I have felt lonely for many years because my perspectives were so different from those around me. Sometimes, I also held unrealistic expectations simply because I didn’t understand.
🍃 Understanding Seasonality in Relationships
I really respect the concept of seasonality. I would turn inward and honor the seasonality within myself, but then I wouldn’t be able to fully understand how that would affect my friendships. For example, I could have a friend who was more in a winter season and would get really frustrated when they couldn’t meet my needs while I was in something more of a summer. When my friends were in that winter season, I couldn’t lean on them because they were too busy running on low.
For a while, I took this personally. I thought they were supposed to be there for me during tough times, instead of realizing that their inability to meet my needs had nothing to do with me and everything to do with their capacity. It didn’t have to define our friendship. It simply meant that they had a different capacity and a different set of needs.
💛 Embracing Openness and Letting Go of Expectations
Opening up to this understanding has tremendously helped maintain the closeness of those friendships. Just being open without expectations has been key. Instead of focusing on where I was projecting lack, I started focusing on the core of the friendship, on how I felt around the person, and on how good the time we had together was. I also worked on making those interactions as fulfilling as possible.
This realization has also given me the ability to give space to my friends when they are going through tougher seasons. I can’t always fully be there for them, depending on where my capacity is. Releasing those expectations has allowed all my loved ones to have the freedom to take care of themselves however they need to. We are able to meet each other exactly where we’re at, and it’s created much stronger connections.
🌈 Managing a Tight Circle with a Big Heart
I am the type of person that has a very tiny, tight circle, but I have so much love in my heart to give that I want to be friends with everyone at the exact same time. My capacity tends to run a little lower, especially when I am going through tougher seasons and dealing with anxiety. I don’t always have the ability to put in a lot of effort towards friends I might not feel comfortable with or who are simply not on my radar because I’m not used to including them in my routine.
Instead of feeling discouraged that I’m never going to be able to hang out with these people, I work on making small gestures to maintain those relationships until the friendships can grow. Whether it’s sending them posts that make me think of them or just having tiny conversations and check-ins every once in a while, these small efforts help keep the relationships going.
🌟 Turning Inward to Show Up Better 🌟
So, my lovely friend, as you navigate the ups and downs of relationships, remember that it all starts with the relationship you have with yourself. Take time to understand your own seasons, honor your needs, and practice self-compassion. By turning inward and nurturing your own heart, you’ll find it easier to extend grace and understanding to others.
When you show up for yourself with kindness and patience, you'll naturally show up better in your friendships. Embrace the ebbs and flows, and know that it’s perfectly okay to have different capacities at different times. Your inner growth and self-awareness will radiate outward, strengthening your connections and allowing you to create more meaningful, supportive relationships.
You’ve got this, beautiful soul! Let your inner light guide you, and watch how it transforms not just your life but the lives of those around you.
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